Five Lessons I've Learned Since Becoming a Mom of Two

In honor of my second daughters first birthday, I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I learned during this new phase of life. It has truly been a crazy ride transitioning into a family of four. I was definitely unprepared for just how hard it would be. As our life is beginning to (finally) become a new kind of normal, I wanted to write about the top five lessons I have learned so far.

1. No two kids are alike.. None. What works for one child may not work for another. I thought I had my parenting style figured out. I felt like I knew what was best for my family.. Boy was I wrong! My second daughter was nothing like her older sister. The soothing techniques we used with Annabelle simply didn't work with Ellie. The way she liked things were totally different. The whole family had to adapt, and it was so hard! What I thought was the 'right' way to raise my kids, wasn't 'right' for my new baby. I had to learn how to roll with the punches and open my mind up to new ways of parenting. Truly, there is no right or wrong way, and I learned that first hand. We are all doing the best we can as parents.
2. Know your resources. During my childbirth classes we talk about postpartum support in length. During pregnancy, you should plan out who will help you with different scenarios. Who will help with dinner, with dishes, and with other siblings? It's also important to know what resources are available in your community.. Where can you go if you need help with breastfeeding? What about postpartum depression? Who can you ask for advice and support? I guess because my first daughter was so easy, I didn't really take my own advice. That was a big mistake! It's so much easier to reach out for support if you have a plan ahead of time and know who you will call.
3. You can't pour from an empty cup. MOMS, take care of yourselves! You cannot care for your children properly until you first care for yourself. Beyond just showering, eating, and sleeping (which are difficult enough to stay on top of postpartum) you should also make sure you take time doing the things you love. Reading, sewing, gardening, spending time with friends.. whatever it is you love to do. It is so important to continue doing these things so you still feel like a human, rather than just a 24/7 mom. Mom doesn't define you. Take time to find out what else makes you, you, and don't forget to invest time in those things.
4. It's okay for the goal of the day to be survival. Some days, it's as simple as that. You should be realistic about your abilities and needs postpartum. Some days it literally looks like a bomb went off in my house, but the kids and I survived so I count it as a success! Sometimes the laundry and dishes have to wait, and that's okay. You can also hire a postpartum doula for help.
5. I am so flawed. Seriously, FLAWED. I screw up probably everyday. Some days I feel like I'm totally winging this parenting thing. That's okay, we all are. Give yourself grace. It's okay to mess up and take comfort knowing that every day (or every minute!) is a new opportunity.

​Happy Birthday my sweet Elaina Mae. You are a blessing and have brought so much joy to our family.